No part of the character of a 007 is more important then his status as the scourge of the casinos (T15, etc.) and the hammer of the big London bridge games (M7). This was easy enough for the original 007. After losing 24,000 pounds of the British Government's money at baccarat (CR11), for instance, he was presented with 32,000 pounds of the U.S. Government's to play on with (CR12). This is not going to happen to you. Let us face the fact that virtually no aspiring 007 can afford, out of his own pocket, to gamble at this level. And obviously, playing for normal stakes is out too.

In framing a gambling policy for 007's, then, precedent and protocol will be of little direct help to us. We must strike out on our own. But the basic answer to the problem is comparatively simple. You know all about gambling, and are always at it, cleaning up 20,000 new francs at the Cannes casino, taking an eccentric millionaire down at bridge for a figure you don't care to name. But this is your evening off. It always is. But lies about gambling must be supported. We offer here a few elementary means of substantiating your story. They will run you into money, but several thousands per cent less than you would need for a single genuine 007 evening at the tables.

The casino, with its supposed glamour and genuine promise of taking a lot of money off its customers, is the most sensitive area. Successful deception here will help your efforts in other fields. Proceed as under:

1) Making sure you are not being followed, sneak into the casino very early one evening. Before setting out, you will have taken a nap, a Swedish massage and a cold shower, a couple of medium-dry vodka Martinis with a twist of lemon peel, or whatever makes it easier for you to dole out great gobbets of cash without getting anything tangible back.

The equivalent of 5 pounds or so, starting with 1 pound for the doorman, should get you as far as the functionary in charge of the actual play. Drop him 10 pounds and any old rambling fantasy about wanting to look the place over on behalf of your principals, a syndicate based in Buenos Aires or Helsinki or one of those places. The 10 pounds will make him behave as if he believed the fantasy.

After gathering from him which are the high-stake games and any relevant gossip, scatter more 1 and 5 pound notes around you and leave. Note: Make sure everyone knows your name.

2) Doing your best to see that you are being followed, or even accompanied, stroll into the casino later that evening or the next. (Better not leave it longer.) Acknowledge the various greetings of the staff. Go to one of the big-money tables and hang around flaring your nostrils at the smell of the crowded [OHMSS 3], electric, elegant scene and showing off your narrowed eyes, rather cruel mouth, etc. Pick any player who looks at all sinister - there'll be plenty to choose from - and pretend to watch him. If challenged, you are simply studying the run of the play. Put a lot of production into the way you refuse when offered a seat at the table. Drop another 5 pounds or so.

All this will make people stare, but so much the better.

3) We will assume that by now you have found the right sort of companion. Deal with her by means of any combination of the following:

• Indicate some harmless middle-aged man who's probably a Leeds clothier on holiday and say, 'Know him? Stein from Zurich. He dropped a packet over the Rizzi merger last week so he'll probably take it slow tonight. Fine player, but erratic.'
• When asked why you aren't playing yourself, say merely that you're after bigger game, glancing momentarily at your sinister selection of a little earlier. Refuse to elaborate.
• Should your companion wish to play, shrug your shoulders, light a cigarette and watch in complete silence.
• If lucky cards or lucky numbers are mentioned, say rather angrily that there are no such things [CR 10].
• As arranged beforehand at the price of a further 1 pound note, a flunkey will hand you a plain sealed envelope. You open it to reveal: A note (typed by you that afternoon in the office at your hotel) to the effect that in view of a temporary cash shortage MM. les Directeurs beg you to accept their cheque; and a cheque for 160,000 new francs signed by three drunken locals in a bar down the street at the price of a cognac apiece.
• Say 'Interesting. Someone must have been hitting them hard. Papastavrou, I expect. Or perhaps old Gottlieb.' Then, before thoughts of mink coats or diamond clips can do more than cross her mind, add ruefully, 'Brings me out just about all square after the pasting I took last week.'

4) You are now a long way up 007ically, but in hard cash between 20 and 60 pounds down. On both counts you might as well go on and treat her to scrambled eggs and champagne [CR14].

After all that you need do no more than maintain your position. When in London, try :

• Fake phone calls. 'Sorry, Randolph, can't make White's tonight.'
• Draw out your entire assets in new fivers, put them in an envelope and scribble on it. 'When do I get my revenge??!! Paul G.' Open while lunching her at the Caprice and leave the empty envelope on the table while you go to 'try to catch Iain at Boodle's'. Pay the balance back in the next day.