Jason Hatcher "tried to be very good" the year he wrote a letter to Santa Claus asking for a "go car" a BB gun and a motorcycle.
He was only 9-years-old at the time, something he makes clear up front, in case the man who sees you when you're sleeping didn't know already.
Popular opinion would suggest he was trying to be good considering he asked Santa for presents for his sister (a Barbie Doll) and younger brother (a horse (?)).
But the best line is reserved for Santa's noble sleigh leader.
"Tell Rudolph I got some watch dogs," Hatcher wrote bluntly.
It's sound advice, though I doubt Hatcher's dogs would be parked on top of the roof. If anything, Santa should be wary of them as he drops off the goods and reaches for his Oreos.
We'll have to get confirmation if Hatcher ever got his presents, though I doubt a motorcycle was laid under the tree considering he was still seven years away from attaining his driver's license.